When a Wedding Planner Gets Married: Maria’s Honest Q&A + What She Learned Along the Way

There’s something extra special about watching someone who plans weddings for a living step into the role of bride. As planners, we spend our days calming nerves, making decisions, and keeping timelines running smoothly – but when it’s your turn to walk down the aisle, everything feels different in the very best way.

Today, our Senior Planner Maria is sharing a behind-the-scenes look at what it was really like planning her own wedding. Her answers are thoughtful and full of encouragement for couples going through the process themselves.

Whether you’re newly engaged or knee-deep in checklists, this Q&A is such a reassuring reminder: even planners feel the same emotions you do.

Group photo of wedding planner turned bride

Q&A With Maria: A Planner Turned Bride

What was the very first thing you prioritized for your own wedding – and why?

Creating and documenting a budget with my mom, dad, and in-laws was the first task. I know how quickly budgets can grow and how communicating (or lack of communicating) about it can cause some awkward family tension, and I wanted to avoid that before booking anything! We also kept track of our budget in a shared Google sheet that everyone could access in order to limit confusion and honor everyone’s contributions.

How did your experience planning weddings shape your vision for your own day?

I’m naturally an anxious person – and as a planner, I’ve seen how that can affect a wedding day if you don’t create space to breathe. So I intentionally prioritized my own peace when designing the overall flow.

I really tried to focus on what my husband and I wanted rather than other people’s opinions, especially on things that were important to us. I was also able to identify the things I really didn’t care about, which allowed me to enjoy other parts of the day more!

What surprised you the most about being “the bride” instead of the planner?

Decision-making!

I would consider myself a fairly decisive person, and it can be frustrating as a planner when couples have a lot of back and forth before making a decision. As a bride though, the first few vendors we booked were easy because I already knew who I wanted, so it was just a matter of getting on their calendars and introducing them to my husband.

After that though, I had a few bouts of indecision. I could even identify that this wasn’t that big of a deal with the “planner” side of my brain, but the “bride” side of my brain disagreed! There were a few times where I finally just handed the decision to my husband because I knew either way would work, but I just personally couldn’t make the final call.

What decision had the biggest impact on how smooth and peaceful your day felt?

Doing a first look with my husband.

When we first got engaged, we were 50/50 about it. I know that it helps logistically on the day, but I wasn’t sure if it was really what I wanted. After booking our photographer, Mylah Renae, she asked if we were interested in doing a first look, and we told her our thoughts. She reframed them by explaining that if you are nervous on your wedding day, the only person you are probably going to want to see is your partner. If you can’t do that until more than halfway through the day, you’ll spend the whole “before” process being nevous. She also mentioned that doing a first look allowed a more natural response since you aren’t in front of anyone. As a massive introvert (my husband) and an anxious planner (myself), we really resonated with that and decided to do a first look! It was 100% worth it! My husband was able to react authentically, we were able to share letters with each other, and spend the rest of the day by each other’s sides!

Groom crying tears of joy after seeing his bride for the first time on wedding day

Wedding planner on her wedding day with her husband

What wedding detail did you splurge on, and why was it worth it?

We hired a live artist, Vogue Vignette, to sketch our guests and it was a HUGE hit! Our guests left with a unique, one-of-a-kind favor that they are still telling me about! My only regret is not hiring her for more hours (or adding a second artist) to sketch more people!

**What did you not DIY that you’re so glad you hired out?**

Signage!

I thought about trying to DIY everything myself, but I’m so glad I hired Backstory Backdrops. She understood the vision and direction I was trying to implement, but she took it even further. Plus, not spending my evenings printing and cutting out menus and escort cards was worth every penny!

What design element felt the most “you”?

My husband and I are both big fans of Harry Potter, but we didn’t want a “Harry Potter-themed” wedding. My mom had the idea to hang floating candles from the ceiling as a magical touch, and I absolutely love the way it turned out. It was perfect and brought such a cool statement to the reception!

Harry Potter inspired hanging candles at wedding reception

What do you wish more brides knew before choosing their vendors?

Hire people you trust and ask for recommendations! If you aren’t sure, talk to more people. In order to be fully present and enjoy your wedding day, you need to be able to have full faith in your vendors and their ability to execute the vision!

What is the best wedding planning advice you’d give to couples right now?

Love this question! Here are some things that made a big difference for us:

1. Don’t let your relationship be overrun by wedding planning.

At the end of it all, the point is to marry your person and start your life together. If all you talk about is the wedding your entire engagement, you’ll get married and not have anything to talk about anymore. During most of our engagement, we would have “wedding dates” on Sunday nights to go over any decisions that needed to be made so that it wasn’t the only thing we ever talked about.

2. Pretend your wedding is one week earlier.

This advice came from Ashtyn and it was life-changing. At that point, you should have everything ready to go for the wedding weekend: decor packed, letters and thank you’s written, gifts wrapped, and suitcases ready! This takes so much pressure off of the week-of and let’s you soak it all in. My best friend and her boyfriend flew in the week of the wedding and stayed with us. We were able to spend so much time together, catching up and enjoying it rather than finishing a to-do list!

3. Put your phone away on the wedding day.

I intentionally left my phone in the bedroom all day long and never looked at it so I could be 100% present and soak in the entire day. Even before hair and make up started, my girls and I were just sitting around the table, drinking coffee and mimosas, and chit-chatting. Quality time like that was priceless! I strongly suggest leaving your phone where you won’t be tempted to look at it, or give it to a trusted friend to handle.

4. Spend the day with your spouse.

Whether you do a first look or not, from the time y’all see each other to the end of the night, spend it together. That way, your wedding memories are with each other and not alone.

If you could relive one moment, what would it be?

I can’t pick just one, I think it’s still too fresh! My top choices though are

reading letters to each other with my husband during our first look
doing a reception reveal and seeing the space for the first time
doing my mother-daughter dance with my mom to a custom mash-up of our favorite songs
dancing on the dance floor with my husband (which is out of character for him because again, he’s heavily introverted)
our private last dance at the end of the night

Bonus answer: the memory that keeps me laughing time and time again is my grandma’s pants falling down during family pictures – it was something straight out of a cartoon!! 🤣

Was there anything that didn’t go as expected?

I’m sure there probably was, but I was so in the moment that to me – everything was perfect. If anything did go wrong, I was completely unaware – which is truly the sign of a great vendor team.

What ended up being the most meaningful part of the entire day?

The ceremony as a whole. We got married in our home church and were able to personalize a lot of the ceremony. We were also allowed to add a unity cross ceremony which was beautiful, and now that same unity cross hangs in our home. Also – we were able to choose readings we loved, readers whose marriages we admired, and priests with whom we had personal connections. My husband and I both have a music background as well as most of our party and families, so getting to choose the music for the ceremony was really important to us both, and getting to sit next to each other and sing through the ceremony together was really special.

What We Hope You Take Away

Becoming the bride gives you a completely new perspective – even if you plan weddings every weekend. Maria’s reflections are a beautiful reminder that your wedding day isn’t about perfection…it’s about presence, peace, and the people you love most.

If you’re dreaming of a wedding planning experience that feels organized, calm, and relationship-driven, our team at Lila Lane Events would love to take this journey with you.

✨ Ready to begin planning your own beautiful wedding day? Contact us here.